Sandwich Generation
Years ago when I first heard this term I was a little confused. I’d heard of the “Greatest” generation, the “Boomer” generation, the “Yuppie” generation but just didn’t know anything about the “Sandwich” generation. Was it the generation that quit cooking meals and started living off Subway? Was it the generation that swore off meat and only ate grilled cheese?
Well, today I know exactly what the sandwich generation is. It is that generation of people who are raising their children/grandchildren and also are caring for elderly family members. Yes, I am the bologna in that sandwich. Although I don’t have children or grandchildren in my home now, I am helping my children with the care of their little ones, babysitting, running errands, picking up and delivering kids to games, school, etc. while at the same time spending a greater portion of my time caring for my mother-in-law. She is in an elder-care facility but still requires a large amount of our time and care. We still do her laundry, mow her lawn, see to the upkeep of her home, pay her bills and take care of her farm. I’m afraid the care of my father will follow all too soon.
I don’t like being bologna! I am getting tired of being bologna…..
A study from the U.S. House of Representatives shows that the average woman spends seventeen years caring for her dependent child and eighteen years caring for her elderly parents. If she has more than one child then you can increase that first number and increase the second when you add in your in-laws. I am getting tired just thinking about it.
What got the gears in my little head to thinking about this was a continuing education course I am required to complete by July 1. It is about Long-Term Care Insurance. I sell it. I need it. BUT…. I don’t have it. No excuse other than I just don’t want to let go of that monthly premium. My thoughts have always been that if I’m broke when I get old then I’ll just depend on Medicaid to pay my nursing home bill. Well, with the economic situation we are in currently, it doesn’t look too promising that Medicare, Medicaid or Social Security will even be an option for my generation or those to come. So where does that leave us? Well, I’m hoping that my kids get really rich and love me enough to take care of me when I get feeble (more feeble than I already am). Otherwise I may have to move in with my youngest sister……right MLS? Our kids just might lock us up together in some facility for the memory challenged old gals in their Depends and fuzzy house slippers. 
I’m well on my way to the “blue” hair my Grandma had but I don’t yet have the walking farts. Hee-hee! Well, this piece of bologna is heading to fridge to stuff a little bit of “fixins” in between……… uh….never mind.
I don’t want to even think about going into a nursing home. I used to work in that industry and have been in numerous nursing homes in our area and for every one that is good there are five or six that aren’t. I will hopefully die before I have to go into one.
I’m like you in that I want to die before I become a burden on others. Sometimes we just don’t have that option and I want my kids to know my wishes and expectations. While I’m still in my right mind (if I ever have been) I want to make sure they understand what I want and don’t want. I have seen some really good nursing homes and some really bad ones.
I suppose I am lucky. Since I had my son while I was young (21), he left the house while I was still fairly young (39). He’s been married for over 5 years and they are doing very well for themselves.
My dad died in ‘06 of a stroke, only 67 years old. My mom is now 67 and in extremely good health, a dynamo. My gramma (dad’s mom) is 92 and still lives at her home of 50+ years in Ohio. Since I’m in KS, I’m not responsible for her direct care at the moment.
My hubby’s parents are both deceased. His kids live in other states (WY and TX).
So we don’t have much family to really worry about. We do miss the kids tho.
And like delaney, I hope to God I die before I end up in a nursing home. What a living hell that would be. I know my dad is glad that never happened to him!
Hang in there, my friend…
Thanks, Susan! I had my first at 19 so I understand having that empty nest at a young age.
Hey there Girl,
Ah yes, the old Ham and Cheese syndrome. Ain’t it fun?
I never had kids, but at 50 my BF and I are raising his 4 yr. old grandson…And my own mother is an “old” 71. So we have our hands full.
But you know what? I’m just glad to be alive. My Dad dropped dead at 49 in 1982, and my only sibling died in 1990 at the young age of 32.
Yeah, being the bologna in the sandwich is a drag, but I’m glad to be alive.
LOL re: “…but I don’t yet have the walking farts.”
I sure do!!!
Hee-hee, the walking farts are funny when they are happening to someone else. I know that others have been through this but it’s difficult to handle when you’re right in the middle of it. My mother died when she was 55 and my Dad is now 84 and in pretty good health. My father-in-law died at 93. We may be doing this for a while. I know that I am in good company.
If you’re the bologna then I’m the liverwurst. We’ll make a fine team of crazy old ladies when our children lock us up together, right? let’s just pinky swear to not get mean and mad all the time like someone else we know.